OBSESSED

THIS SONG IS SO WONDERFUL.

And naturally, it was on Glee before it was on the radio....

Idols

This is a list of the women that I idolize:

Ke$ha: She's a bad bitch.  She likes to drink and dance her ass off and she gives no fucks.

Mila Kunis: She's hot.  She's funny.  She's badass.

Rihanna: She's also hot and badass.  And she loves rough sex apparently.

Beyonce: Gorgeous.  Amazing voice.  The only celebrity that has stayed with the same partner for an extended amount of time.

Bitches Be Crazy

Things that piss me off about girls:

• they never stop talking
• their constant need for attention
• always whining about needing a man... no, you are perfectly capable of living without one
• so many emotions!
• they never say exactly what they mean
• they talk about stupid things, like what they had for dinner, where they got their notebook, etc.
• always gossiping and talking about friends behind each other's backs
• always needing reassurance

Bitches be crazy, and dramatic and annoying.  Fuck bitches, get money!

My Favorite Office Moments

BootyText

To follow up with my previous post... I tracked the number of guys that booty texted me for three days, but then I forgot after that... anyway, here's the totals:

Monday 2/6: 6 guys
Tuesday 2/7: 4 guys
Wednesday 2/8: 2 guys

It's ridiculous... six different guys in one night!  Jesus people, desperate much?

Wonderful.

Entertaining, Yet Aggravating

So I thought of a genius idea tonight, I'm going to keep track of how many guys booty text me everyday until next Monday and then I'm going to post about it.  I thought of this wonderful idea because I got six tonight!  Assholes!

Ice Cream Flavor Ideas

Here are some ice cream flavors I would like to try:

• Candy Jubilee
• Sex
• Cum (or maybe not... too salty)
• Red Bull
• Mountain Dew
• Bacon
• Pop Tart
• Wet Dream
• Pot
• Beer
• Tequila Fun
• Ultra-Frozen Margarita
• Giant Pickle
• Twice-Baked Potato
• Sparkles

Good for Them

Lack of Internet

Sooo I just moved into an apartment and I don't have internet.  WTF.  That is the reason for the lack of posts lately, but from this experience I have realized how much I rely on internet.  It's a good thing I have a smart phone, but still, it just doesn't cut it.  Things I can't do without internet:

• watch my numerous TV shows
• waste my life away on Facebook
• update my blogs
• listen to half of the music I like ):
• watch porn
• Google random shit
• chat with my friends/stalkers on Facebook
• Stumble
• play stupid games
• stare at pictures of hot guys
• watch porn

Wahhhhhhhhhh!  I need to get this situation fixed ASAP.

Describe Your Sex Life With a Movie Title

The Hangover
30 Minutes or Less
Anaconda
Superbad
Toy Story
Boys Don't Cry
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
While You Were Sleeping
Scream
Top Gun
The Ring
The Descent
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
I Am Legend
The Chamber of Secrets
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
An Inconvenient Truth
Transformers
Iron Man
How to Train Your Dragon
Where the Wild Things Are
Sex and the City
Up in the Air
Kick-Ass
Mamma Mia!
He's Just Not that Into You
Fight Club
Freddy vs. Jason
Final Destination
The 40-Year-Old Virgin
Bruce Almighty
No Country for Old Men
My Best Friend's Girl
30 Days and 30 Nights
White Chicks
Freddy Got Fingered
Fast and the Furious
Failure to Launch
Joy Ride
Wild Hogs
The Longest Yard
The Land Before Time
Knocked Up
As Good As It Gets

EPIC

Would you go for it?

Ways to Lose Your Ticket to PoundTown

Doing any of these things will instantly revoke your ticket:

• make up stupid cheap rules when playing beer pong
• tell me that my drink is weak
• tell me that I look like your cousin
• tell me that you want to cuddle
• have annoying friends
• be ugly
• baby carrot
• hold my hand
• get belligerently drunk
• be unable to handle your liquor
• be stupid/not funny
• say something bad about the Timberwolves
• call me "little girl"
• tell me about your ex
• be rude to my friends
• try to get on every girl around
• ask me if I have any condoms
• ask me if I have an STD
• be clingy
• tell me you're a virgin
• call me the wrong name/forget my name
• tell me that I'm not a big deal (WRONG)

Ways to Get in My Pants

Here are some surefire ways to get in my pants (with some exceptions) that may or may not work on other girls:

• buy me lots of alcohol/make me lots of (strong) drinks
• talk about basketball/the Timberwolves
• take me to a sporting event
• ask me if i am or if my car is a transformer
• sing r&b to me
• sing Drake to me
• be sexy
• be ripped
• have a big dick
• take me with when you race cars illegally
• play beer pong with me and be really good
• be in the military
• make smoldering eye contact with me (preferably across the beer pong table)
• be my best friend
• take off your shirt and reveal that you are photoshopped
• fight me
• put money in my bra
• show me where the bathroom is
• say "nice legs"
• be just the right amount of cocky
• buy me food at 2 am
• teach me how to do something cool/useful
• carry me/give me a piggy-back ride
• be awesome

New Favorite Song

This song is absolutely wonderful and kind of sums up my life.

Also, this video creeps me out a ton and the song is kind of creepy too, but I really love it:

Transformers Inventory

I think it's about time I take inventory of all the Transformers items in my possession:

• 2 movies (unfortunately, I don't have the third yet)
• 1 toy Bumblebee
• 1 tie blanket (I made it myself!!)
• 1 notebook with Transformers stickers on it
• 1 autobot bumper sticker (in the near future)
• and eventually 1 Optimus Prime Halloween costume

Total = 7 items

It's not enough!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Blog

I started a second blog, check it out!
Bitch Tips

Careers that Make a Guy Hot

• cop (no explanation needed)
• athlete (ripped)
• any type of racing (adventurous)
• mechanic (mmmm carsss)
• anything with finance (suit.... yes please)
• any CEO (POWER)
• firefighter (brave)
• musician (talented/artistic)
• personal trainer (also ripped)
• any branch of the military (more ripped, and also brave)

Things I Appreciate About the U.S.

I recently returned from a three week trip to Costa Rica.  Though the trip was fun, I was very homesick and I realized some things that I really appreciate about the U.S. that I have always taken advantage of:

• reliable and usable plumbing
• heat and air conditioning
• affordability of houses/cars/etc. (with loans and such)
• lack of bugs, outdoors and indoors
• legitimacy of stores/restaurants/prices (actual receipts)
• health codes for restaurants
• lack of stray dogs on the streets
• suburban life
• amount of stores/selection of products
• commercial food
• paved streets (where it's necessary)

Drizzyyyy

This is how I feel right now, with a little less desperation and a little more humor.

My Two Favorite 'Friends' Moments

Haul asssssssss!!!

Monica acting surprised is so great.

Random Thoughts

Why do people live in cold places?  Snow sucks.  Ice sucks.  Below freezing temperatures suck.  Sure, snow is pretty, but not when you have to drive in it with bald tires and people driving like idiots.  Why doesn't everyone just live on the beach?

Why do they serve such nasty food on airplanes?  Peanuts... no thanks, I'd rather have some marbles.  Stale pretzels... no thanks, I'll take some cardboard instead.  Old cookies... nah, how about some bark?  You expect me to eat that shit!  All the real food is as expensive as the flight!  What the fuck????  Get some Doritos, cotton candy, and giant pickles complimentary on the flight and THEN we'll be talking.

Why do we have to pay for college?  In many other countries it's free, or under $1,000.  In the U.S., many students pay $20,000+ per year!  What the fuck America??!?!?

That's all for now.

Angry Rant

Pissed off.  Losing faith in humanity.  Do you really think it's okay to treat someone like that?  Do you see what you're missing out on?  I ripped up your letter.  I would've burned the scraps, but your letter didn't deserve that much of my time or attention.  From now on, I won't think of you.  I wish I could explain my anger to you, but if I saw you, I would punch you.  I've been through this many times before, but I thought you were different.  I was wrong.  I will not think like that anymore.  If you ever come back, the chain is on my door.

Every time this happens to me, I feel like I lose another sliver of my heart.  I don't have much left.  Before you came around, it was already hard to make me hurt.  But  now it is impossible, because I have lost my last piece.  I'm numb.  I will never be this way again.  I'm a brick wall, a void.